Couples, who have long together, not only have to put up with different views and habits of each other but also to adapt to social norms. Coach Katerina Kostoula believes that we should not blindly follow the rules, and tells the story of three "bad" things that are really useful for the relationship. Learn more with our web chat random platform blog!
"Bad" things that are good for your relationship
To live happily with one partner - not an easy task. We have to live next to someone who's different sees, feels, and acts. We were pushing the environment, the experience of our parents and the media. However, the relationship - the territory of only two people, and you can break the taboos and rules, if both want it. We are indoctrinated from childhood that sort things out indecent; the couple must do everything together and help each other. It's time to break these stereotypes. Relationships in which there is a conflict, there is no strong and sincere. If you keep your feelings to yourself, there is no chance to change something. Quarrels have a therapeutic effect, in the end, everything becomes easier. They help to throw out the anger and talk about what is not satisfied. You will learn about the pressure points of each other, and it helps to better understand your partner. Suppressing anger, you build a wall between himself and the partner and reduce the immunity. Quarrel need to but try to do it in a civilized way. Discussions that lead to positive agreements are useful, and hurt each other is not necessary.
Sometimes you need to do something THAT YOU LIKE
Do you want to continue to engage in a hobby that interested partner? Do you want to spend time with friends, love to spend a couple of hours alone? This is normal. Love for yourself will help you to love your partner. Your individual interests, independence, and distancing from each other for a while only to contribute to the maintenance of the flame of love, certainty and the constant proximity of destroying the passion. They are relevant only at the very beginning of the relationship.
Respect the distance contributes to appeal
Esther Perel asking people when they find their partner is more attractive. More often than not it has received the following answers: when it is not there, at a party, when he engaged in business. Respect the distance contributes to appeal because people usually want what they do not have right now. We need to defend the right to an identity if we want to remain attractive to a partner, even if he does not want to let you out of yourself. There is another reason why we need to continue to do their work. Sacrificing yourself, you save up discontent and resentment. Your expectations are not met. You feel an unhappy victim.
No need to constantly help each other
Your partner comes home from work and complains about the difficult day. You want to help, give advice, trying to improve the situation. It is better to try to listen, try to understand, ask questions. Partner is likely an experienced man; he will be able to solve their problems. All that he needs is your ability to listen and understand.